‘How Do I Make More Time to Write?’

Dear reader,

Over the past several years, I have been obsessed with the idea of "having time to write." What this has meant: shut door, total silence, and words on the page. They were morning pages, writing down the bones, three hundred words a day, and words measured by production in quantity or time. This became even more severe when I went back to a day job over two years ago (which is shocking to realize). My focus became obsession with waking up as early as possible, outside of industrial time, like Toni Morrison with her coffee in hand, looking at the stars.

What was this obsession? My first thought is that it must be shame. Shame around failure, if writers are measured by the extent of our publications; shame that when I had the time to write, I wasn't able to produce the book I thought I would be able to. But I think also this shame must be coupled with ambition, at least. I want to write something great. I want to be proud of what I write. I want the voice within me, who hates how I lay exhausted, scrolling on my phone, to finally come back and say yes, they were proud of me. I want to be proud of myself, and in order to do it, I have to write. Perhaps I produce in order to prove I can afford my own love.

So ambition mediates what I am really after: the luxury of being away with myself, chipping away at exteriors to arrive at my own interiority. If I just write the right book, I say to myself, I'll be worthy of doing this all the time.

And yet, when I write with ambition, something changes in the words I write. My brow furrows; the words squeeze out of me and none of them are right. They are considered; they are intellectual; they are not art.

Ambition suits what can be seen and met on specific terms. As these years back at engineering have reminded me, I achieve what I set out to do when I know what it is. I often exceed it. The more time I have, the more I do. With art, it is not only having time to write that matters. The quality of that time matters too.

What has it meant, to make time for writing? There are all the practical concerns—meal prepping, scheduling with my partner, and acting out my belief that it's okay to rest. But even more important has been the state of my mind. I have spoken before of writing (or not) to one's cycle of the process, but there are daily cycles too. When I could no longer get up early, I begrudgingly started writing at night. One evening, I set a timer and finally did it by hand, and found that I hated everything I was putting down as I was going. The next morning, as I typed up the pages from the night prior, I found that there was merit to what I had written, and being much better rested, I could elaborate on it as well.

I like to think that I have learned my lesson to trust that there is no perfect place or time to write—just that I can, and that I have to, and that capitalism can spare a few minutes of the better hours of my day so I can get a line or phrase down. I'm sure I will forget this lesson one day again, and that some other writer, perhaps you, will remind me of it.

For there is a part of my obsession that is just for me. Beneath all that shame and longing and yes, cutthroat ambition, I am obsessed with my life. I want it to feel deeper, and richer, amidst all its calamity. I am obsessed with the names of birds calling out at dawn; I am obsessed, at this moment, with sketching the past. When I write, I know myself not as what I produce but what I've felt and what I love, pattering softly into words on the keyboard in front of me, or etching onto the surface of the blank page, which I might share with you.

A Musical Approach to Asian American Studies

Starts July 1

Meanwhile, the Asian American Literary Archive is running a twist on our usual Foundations of Asian American Studies course: A Musical Approach to Asian American Studies! This class will be taught by archivist and pianist Eric Hung and vocalist and scholar Elaine Andres, and starts on July 1. Registration closes June 30. Here's an excerpt of the description:

This discussion-based course explores key debates and methods in Asian American studies through music created by, for, and about Asian Americans. Each week, we will critically listen to a wide range of historical and contemporary songs—from Cantonese opera to M.I.A., from Broadway ballads to Olivia Rodrigo—to examine foundational issues in the field, including identity formation, belonging, exclusion, citizenship, colonialism, model minoritization, and Asian American joy.

Sequencing Poetry Manuscripts

Starts Aug 10

For those of you who are interested in working with me in particular, I am offering a seminar and a tutorial on poetry manuscripts this August.

Sequencing Poetry Manuscripts is a one-day interactive lecture built on practical techniques on discovering one's manuscript themes, arc, and order for intermediate poets.

For four advanced students, I'm offering a Sequencing Poetry Manuscripts Intensive, a workshop with the intimacy of a tutorial that immediately follows the initial lecture. Enrollments are limited by application. Submissions are due on July 24, 2025.

Until next,
y.